Scientists and Spies Team Up On Global Warming
In a break from their usual business of overthrowing South American governments, covering up alien landings, and broadcasting coded messages through my fillings, the CIA has revived a program that teams up spies and scientists for the study of climate change. Through the program, scientists get access classified images of the polar ice caps, as well as the chance to pick the targets of off-duty spy satellites. The program, which began under former President Clinton but was canceled by former President Bush, takes advantage of the vast array of sensors and satellites operated by the CIA. Many times more powerful than regular commercial imaging satellites, the spy satellites used in the program produce pictures of the Arctic ice cap so sharp that they have to be digitally blurred before public release, lest the resolution tip off US enemies to the power of the satellite's cameras. The combination of the incredibly high...